Myths of the Father

The proper way to be a father or mother, questions about who can father or mother, and what these parental roles mean are contentious topics, ripe for creative reflection and renewal. Myths about fathers and fatherhood contain images and meanings that shape society and family life. They're a key part of this cultural conversation.

The fathers in myths and fairy tales exert influence over us whether or not we believe in them or know the specifics of the stories. In this episode, we take a look at the Christian God the Father, Zeus of the ancient Greek pantheon, Odin from Norse mythology, and a couple of fairy tales dads. 

Happy Father's Day! 

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Myth Matters, storytelling and conversation about mythology and what myth can offer us today. I'm your host and personal mythologist Dr. Catherine Svehla. Wherever you may be in this wide, beautiful, crazy world of ours, you are part of this story circle.  

I received a request for a patreon patron of the podcast, to create an episode about "fathers." The creation of a special episode geared toward a topic that interests you is one of the benefits of being a patron, by the way. Since the American Father's Day is this Sunday, June 18th, seems like a good time to consider myths about the father.

This is a big and complex topic. Let's begin with the 900-pound gorilla in the room, the image of the Christian "God the Father." He is the image of the "Pater," that is the "father," in the dominant patriarchal culture of Europe and European colonies and parts of the world influenced by Christianity. This mythic father created everything in seven days with his words, through his thoughts and breath. Humans were his final creation. This is one reason that he is called "father."

There are two different accounts of the creation of human beings in the Biblical book of Genesis. In one account, God created male and female at the same time, both in his image. In the other account, only the male human being is created. This male human-- called Adam-- was lonely as he didn't have a mate like the other animals. God decides to make him one. He puts Adam to sleep and creates Eve from one of the man's ribs. 

Theoretically, this close association, "she is flesh of my flesh," as Adam says, will mean that the bond between them is strong and loving. Maybe this is why Adam listens to Eve when she later offers him the apple. Who knows? The awareness that they are one. But this solidarity has not been part of the Christian myth over time. As we've seen, the rib creation and snake story results in a concept of females as inferior, lacking the initial divine spark. The original sinner. And because she came from his body, the female is property under the control of the male.  Something that God reinforces when he kicks them out of the garden of Eden.

The Christian God is generally called "God the Father" for yet another reason. He's actually a triune god, meaning that he's mysteriously One and also Three. These 3 distinct aspects or faces, this holy trinity, is comprised of the father, son, and Holy Ghost. There is no holy mate, no divine wife or mother. The Virgin Mary, a mortal woman who was impregnated by God to bear his son Jesus, the son in the trinity, is greatly revered and sometimes worshipped alongside the male figures but that's more a matter of sentiment then mythology or theology. 

The pater in this patriarchy doesn’t need a goddess for anything nor does he have much use for the female. He needs one human woman to have the type of child that he wants-- the son-- when he feels the time is right is right for his divine plan. Mary has no idea what's going on and she's supposed to marry a man who assumes that she is a virgin. That's going to be tricky. Granted, the angel who informs her that she is going to give birth to the Son of God always looks polite enough in the paintings but she was shocked to say the least. 

God the Father's will must be done-- he has absolute authority and power. There is no one else, no other god to give him advice. No one to whom this deity is accountable. God the Father gives Mary the job of the pregnancy and birth. Oh, and of raising his son for him and then watching him die at a relatively young age.

You can see that many of the historical problems and toxic baggage of the Christian myth rests in this image of the father and of fatherhood. When you consider the distorting and damaging effect the patriarchy has on men, you can begin here with this "father" and this image of a man, of maleness. Living the role of the "ruling father," which is what the Greek root of "pater" in patriarchy means---can be a heavy and lonely responsibility, freighted with the moral, psychological, and spiritual problems of handling the power wisely. Problems that, as history has shown, often prove too great for us mere mortals of any gender. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

There are Christian images and messages about love and compassion, sacrifice and trauma, humility, fear, grief. All of our tender human vulnerabilities in the face of the mystery. Many of these stories are about Jesus. And.  we're told that God the Father acts as he does out of love. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, so whoever believes in him will have everlasting life." This is the message. 

According to the myth, Jesus was crucified, spent three days in the underworld, and came back to life. This sacrifice of the most loved, beloved, and demonstration of power against death makes it possible for those who believe in the Christian god to go to Heaven after death and live forever. That is the salvation.

There's a lot to investigate here. Sticking to our theme of the father image, we have to note that this love for the world is conditional. God's children are chosen and then called to obedience. Further, people who don't believe are punished after death by an eternity in Hell. There are serious consequences if you don't accept the contract, either through conscious rejection of the creed or innocent ignorance, whether or not you live a moral life and love your neighbor. 

Now, the need to make prayers and sacrifices to honor and soothe the gods is a common feature in mythologies around the world. These gods are generally not described as a "father" but rather as a king, warrior, or ruler of a power like earthquakes or the sea. I'll come back to the conditional nature of the love of a father later in this podcast.

The Father's Day holiday celebrated here in the United States is relatively new. The concept of Mother's Day, which emerged soon after the end of the Civil War, gave rise to thoughts about a day for dad. The first national celebration was in 1910 but the idea didn't quite take hold. Some men felt it was sentimental and unseemly, unmanly. And although both of these holidays have been criticized from the outset, as primarily commercial enterprises, given that Dad was typically the breadwinner in those days, some critics questioned the celebratory nature of gifts bought for Dad from Dad's money. 

Father's Day wasn't declared a federal holiday until 1972. I think it's interesting that the Equal Rights Amendment, which was initially proposed to Congress in 1923, that's the amendment to guarantee full equality for women, was finally ratified by Congress and sent to the states in 1972.

The precursor to this national Father's Day holiday is Saint Joseph’s Day, which has been celebrated in the Catholic nations of Europe on March 19 since medieval times. The earlier Coptic Orthodox church celebrated St. Joseph’s Day on July 20th, as early as 400 C.E. The saint in question is Joseph, the husband of the Virgin Mary. Joseph is honored as the ideal of earthly fatherhood because he chose to raise Jesus as his own son and did so with steadfast love. 

Joseph of Nazareth, in the Galilee region of Palestine, was a descendant of King David. He married Mary, mother of Jesus, and found that she was already pregnant. He didn't plan to make a big deal out of it but he did intend to divorce her. Then an angel came to him. The angel told him that Mary was chaste and telling him the truth: the child was indeed the son of God conceived in the Holy Spirit. Joseph stayed married to Mary, protected his wife and child, taught his son carpentry, and worried about Jesus. He was his father. Joseph drops out of the Biblical stories before the crucifixion and there is no known story of his death.

In this story of Joseph, we see the distinction between being a biological father and acting as father, being a father to someone. Joseph is honored for making the choice to be a father although he did need encouragement from an angel. The nature of his choice, that he could make choice, and the value placed on it are interesting to think about in light of the current arguments about reproductive rights and the control of women. 

The biology of reproduction is quite different for males and females. Females have a limited number of opportunities to become pregnant. And it's only possible for a few days in any given month. Males can impregnate 24/7 well into old age. Females are aware of giving birth and of the fact of motherhood, while males can father a new life without knowing it, claiming it, or taking responsibility for the possibility of its creation. You've got to wonder, whose choice are we preserving here and at whose expense?

Which is a good segue to another influential myth of the father, the ancient Greek myths of Zeus. Zeus is called the greatest of the gods, far-seeing and all-knowing. He's the head of the Olympian pantheon and in charge of maintaining order among the immortals. His actions have major consequences for human beings but he's not called "father." He probably didn't create us-- this action is most often attributed to the Titan Prometheus-- and Zeus doesn’t exactly have warm feelings toward mortals. We're pawns in the play of the gods.

Zeus has a wife, the goddess Hera, and a good number of immortal and mortal children but he's not much of a family man. The children that he has with various goddesses take their places among the immortals and he aligns himself with one or the other of them at different times to keep Mt. Olympus relatively peaceful. This is a polytheistic system. which means that although he's the king god,  he still has some negotiating to do to keep his power intact. So, his divine children take their places in the community of gods and the wife Hera tortures the mothers if she can. 

The mortal women impregnated by Zeus are often raped or seduced through trickery. These women generally suffer and even die-- thanks to Hera. The children are extraordinary in some way--think of. Heracles and. Helen of Troy--- which is the good news and the bad news for them and everyone else. Zeus is the father as fertilizer, the one who brings a range of possibilities into the world. The one who scatters his seed and then steps back to see what grows and thrives.

Zeus is also a son. His father, the Titan Cronus, ruled the cosmos before Zeus. Cronus did not care much for his children and feared they would supplant him. So, he swallowed them as soon as they were born. Zeus was the youngest. His mother and grandmother, Gaia (the earth) conspired to trick Cronus into swallowing a stone and thus, Zeus was able to grow up in secret on a distant island and eventually liberate his siblings and challenge his father.

The pattern of power struggles between fathers and sons is repeated many times in Greek mythology. Gods and mortals, usually. kings, betray, abandon, dismember, sacrifice, and murder their children and each other in order to hold onto power. This is woven into the creation of our world, when Cronus castrates the first father, Uranus or Heaven. The loving and supportive relationship between the hero Odysseus and his father Laertes is a notable exception. The fathers in Greek mythology, mortal and divine, are seen as primarily ambitious and driven by power, and their family life is secondary to what they want to accomplish as individuals.

The last myth of a father that I'll mention is the Norse god Odin, who is called "The All Father." Odin makes the first man out of ash tree and the first woman out of an elm tree. Trees are important in Norse mythology. There are three realms in this cosmology. Asgard, the first realm, was the home of the Gods, elves, and fairies. Misgard, or Middle realm, is the land of the humans, the dwarves, and the giants. The third realm contained the regions that we consider hell.  These realms are connected by the world tree.They have a shared fate and while Odin had allies and enemies and more or less natural affinities with these different types of beings, he had to be responsible for them all. 

Odin is married to the goddess Frigg, one of the foremost goddesses of Norse mythology. Like Hera, she is the patron of marriage but she is more than the wife as queen and consort. She's the image of motherhood, the goddess of love and fertility, and is revered by all of creation. Odin and Frigg have twin sons, Baldur and Hod. 

The Norse pantheon fascinates me because this group of gods operates under a sacred prophecy that they will be defeated in a great war, die. That their world will end. The actions of these gods bring consequences for them as well as the world. Big difference between the Norse and the Greek. Odin strives to prevent the great war, called the Ragnorak, and the end of this world. He schemes and negotiates with others, consults oracles, and gathers as much wisdom as he can.

These quests require that he make sacrifices. For example, Odin has only one eye because he exchanged it for a drink from the well of knowledge.  This well was located at the base of the second root of the great world tree, the root that went to Midgard and the world of the humans. It was carefully guarded by Mirmir, who drank from the well every day and was reputed to be the wisest man in the world. 

Odin went to the well and asked for a drink. Mirmir told him that drinking the water would give him a second sight, the ability to see the depths of all things, to see what is otherwise invisible. This power of insight had a price. Odin tore out one of his eyes and dropped it beside the well. Then he was allowed to drink. One-eyed Odin was also known as the "All- Seeing."

Odin and his family play important roles in the coming Ragnorak. Baldur has bad dreams and both Odin and Frigg go to great lengths to protect him from death. Nevertheless, Loki, the trickster, plays on Hod's loving admiration for his brother and tricks him into killing Baldur. Odin can't prevent this tragedy not can he prevent the end of his world.

So, we have "God the Father" with no mate, who sacrifices his son so that those who believe in him can be saved. We have Zeus, who is married and has children, but doesn't act as a father the way we think of it today, toward any of them. And we have Odin, who's married and has children, and takes responsibility for the whole world. There's something very poignant and realistic about his failure.

Now, I want to say a few things about fathers in fairy tales. Fairy tales are part of the larger family of mythic stories. In many ways they are closer to us mere mortals and to our human lives and our psychology. 

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Now, back to fairy tales. Fairy tale fathers. They’re mostly absent, ineffectual, or evil and abusive. A lot like the mothers. And like the mothers, their actions typically lead to the child leaving home. So, we've got to wonder why.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of bad parents. We would like to think that these stories of difficulty and cruelty of neglect and misplaced ambitions are fantasies, but they're not. These bad parents don't prevail in fairy tales, however. The children start off defenseless pawns, the way I've described human beings in the hands of the gods Zeus, but they prevail. The bad parents are catalysts for the development of the child. The child comes into his or her own by leaving home. 

Now there are also good fathers. The good fathers like the father in the story of "The Frog Prince." In the story of the frog prince, the princess makes a deal with the frog and he brings her golden ball back. And then she runs away. Her father the king says, "Hey, if you made a promise, you have to keep it." She obeys while she's in front of her father. And then if you know the story, you know that later on the frog gets on her nerves and she throws him against a wall and smashes him, and then he becomes a prince. 

Well, then the good father at that point goes "Oh, things have changed," and when she wants to get married, he gives his permission. So here we have a father who plays a role in the development of your character and then in your launch into the world. There's a message there. And I'm thinking about that conditional love I was talking about earlier. It's not always a bad thing is it? For someone to have expectations of you. 

Going back to the princess and the frog and the moment that she disobeyed her father, makes me wonder where she got the sense of self-worth, and authority to take that action. Somehow somewhere, she was instilled with the sense that she could act on her own behalf. 

Well, another one I want to mention is the father in "The Three Feathers" story. I've told these stories in the podcast. I will post links along with the transcript of this episode so that you can find these and listen to the stories if you want to. In "The Three Feathers," we have a king who has three sons. The eldest two are clever and it seems like one of them should be the next king. The youngest, they call dummy because he doesn't say a lot. 

Here the king doesn't hold on to his throne. First of all, he realizes that he needs a successor. And then second of all, he doesn't automatically go for the eldest, or even one of the clever ones. He throws feathers in the air and he gives all three of his sons a chance to show who they are and what they're capable of. He doesn't follow a convention. He acknowledges that he doesn't know, you know, that he isn't the authority. Now what ends up happening, as you can imagine, is that the youngest, the dummy, proves himself to be the one who should be king and he becomes king. 

So again, there's this sense of the father as someone who nurtures potential. Maybe mom's job, and I'm talking about parenting roles, not genders here--maybe the mom's job is to make sure that you know that you always have a home, while dad's job is to send you out to make your own, to protect you until you are ready, and to ready you. 

I have a poem that I want to read you in closing. It's called "The Gift," written by Li-Young Lee. (Found in The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart poetry anthology edited by Robert Bly, James Hillman, and Michael Meade).

We're in the midst of a long, centuries long, deconstruction of these myths of the father. This is a collective cultural project of questioning, challenging, and reshaping the images and narratives that guide our lives as mothers or fathers and determine what these roles mean. This reshaping has implications beyond parenthood and family life, as the father- mother dualism is part of a larger constellation and value system. In brief, male, man, father, mind, reason culture. Female, woman, mother, body, irrational, nature and earth. The meaning of all of these-- and what I've mentioned is but a piece of it-- are up for grabs. What these ideas mean dictates how we organize our societies. How we live.

This is why understanding myth is so important. When you see a myth as a myth, you can see the dimensions of a situation, the connections between material life, psychology, culture, imagination, and the mystery. You can get beneath the politics and the social conventions to think about what we need-- order and security and protection and nurturing, for example, intimacy and love-- and how these needs can be expressed and lived in our world today. We don't control the emergence of new myths-- this involves too much unconscious activity-- and yet, we are part of the process. How each of lives and chooses to view life matters. 

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there who lovingly embrace the challenges of fatherhood in this time. May you be celebrated.

And that's it for me, Catherine Svehla and Myth Matters. Thank you so much for listening. Take good care of yourself and until next time, keep the mystery in your life alive.